Information for Pregnant People
Placing one’s child or children for adoption is an extremely difficult, life-altering decision. It is important to have access to information from a variety of resources, so you make the most educated, informed decision.
The purpose of providing this information is to help those considering their options with their research, to provide answers to frequently asked-questions, and to offer some transparency as to the realities of adoption from the point of view of birth parents.
If you are pregnant and undecided on whether you want to parent, have an abortion, or place your child for adoption, you have the right to make that decision free of coercion, manipulation, and pressure.
As an organization that focuses on birth mothers/parents post-placement, we have seen through our clients that it is nearly impossible to understand the psychological and emotional impact of placing a child for adoption until after giving birth to your child or having parented your child for a period of time. If you are considering placing your child for adoption, you may find it helpful to read about the experiences of birth parents.
If you are pregnant and considering adoption, here is some basic information to consider.
Be sure to do your own research and ask lots of questions. It may be beneficial to research the potential impacts adoption can have on biological parents, the families, and the child. It is also important to listen to your intuition, especially if something doesn’t feel right or feels “off” to you.
If you are told or read these phrases, you may want to do some additional research and ask questions about what they mean:
- “You’re in the driver’s seat”
- “You have total control”
- “You decide the openness in the adoption”
- “You decide how often you get to see your child.”
- That placing your child with another family will make you “more of a woman” or be a “self-actualized woman”
Some things to consider questioning more and/or getting a second opinion:
- Is there inaccurate or false medical or psychological information on their website about abortion?
- Is the adoption professional pressuring you to terminate your parental rights while you are still pregnant?
- Is there an overemphasis on two-parent homes or talk financial abundance the hopeful adoptive parent/s have?
- An overemphasis on any challenges the prospective adoptive parent/s may have had in creating their family
- Are you repeatedly reminded that your love is not enough for your child?
- Is your intuition telling you something seems “off” or too good to be true?
- If you ask questions about the impact of adoption on your child, are those questions ignored or the responses seem to overlook the child’s development?
- Are you repeatedly told you are giving a “gift” or that you are a “vessel” or “selfless”
- Are you being told how much money the prospective adoptive parent/s may have spent on infertility treatments or “failed adoptions”?
- Are your pronouns and gender identify not being respected
- Is the adoption professional you are considering licensed?
- Is the adoption professional respecting your request for racially and ethnically diverse prospective adoptive parents?
We encourage you to have a trusted advocate who can support you during this potentially overwhelming and vulnerable time in your life. Ideally, this would be someone who is not personally or financially invested in whether or not you place your child for adoption.
In the United States, adoption laws vary state by state. If you are thinking of placing your child for adoption in a state that is different from where you live, it is in your and your child’s best interest to thoroughly review the laws of that state. You can also seek out the advice of an attorney who can provide you with full information as to the adoption laws in your state and who can advocate for your best interest.
Pay close attention to the revocation period of the state that you are considering placing your child for adoption. Once the revocation period has ended and you have changed your mind about relinquishment, it is highly unlikely you would be able to get your child back. In California the revocation period is up to 30 days.
If you connect directly with a pre-adoptive parent/s, keep in mind that they cannot provide you unbiased information or support regarding the adoption. You may find pre-adoptive parents on social media, adoption apps, matching websites, or word of mouth.
You can ask for your own legal representation. Some states, for example, California, allow the same attorney to represent the expectant parent and the hopeful adoptive parent/s. This is sometimes referred to as dual representation.
Post-Adoption Contact Agreements may not be legally enforceable and even when they are enforceable, the remedy would not undo the adoption. It is important to review the law of the state where the adoption will be finalized.
You can name your infant. It is important to know that the adoptive parent/s can change the infant's name. That new name is what would appear on the amended birth certificate.
You can, at any time in your pregnancy, change your mind about placing your baby for adoption. You have the right after you have given birth to change your mind, however, it is important to be aware that your time may be limited to do so.
If you would like Options Counseling, MPower Alliance is here to help. Please contact us at [email protected]
Other organizations that can provide Options Counseling include: All-Options and Planned Parenthood.
DISCLAIMER: The information provided on this website does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials available on this site are for general informational purposes only. Information on this website may not constitute the most up-to-date legal or other information. This website contains links to other third-party websites. Such links are only for the convenience of the reader, user or browser; MPower Alliance does not necessarily recommend or endorse the contents of the third-party sites.
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